Changes

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I contemplated for weeks now if I was going to write a final post on my divorce, and honestly speaking this is a very raw post and I don’t have anything planned as to what I am going to say; except the truth.

My divorce was final on October 3, prior to my divorce I have been waiting for some sort of verification from my lawyer of when the divorce was going to be final; but they reassured me that we are on the “courts time,” and it could take several weeks.

When I received the paperwork with my attorneys address on it in the mail, I knew exactly what it was. I went inside the house and just looked at it and thought…

Here it is, the piece of paper that dissolves everything. I instantly got a flashback of the day we got married; thought about how happy we were and how at that point in my life 3 years later I would be sitting at my parents house holding an envelope that ends everything. Who would have thought three years ago this is where I would be; I never thought a millions years this is where we would be.

I opened the envelope and  for the first time in months I cried, I cried so hard that I started laughing…uncontrollably. I couldn’t tell you if it was out of sadness or relief that the divorce process was done with.

At that moment I gained my freedom and I gained my life back. There was such a relief that came over me and for the first time in a really long time there was light at the end of the tunnel. That moment I finally started to think about my future. My wants, my needs and even emotions were not going to be put on the back burner.

Then I can finally move on with my life.

If there is one thing that I would want you to know is that I loved my ex-husband with all my heart. I wanted us to grow old together, have more babies and just be happy, but sometimes life hands you some major curve balls and you have no choice but to make hard decisions. That is the funny part about life that you do not have the control that you think you do and sometimes you have no choice but to walk away.

“I guess it’s gonna break me down
Like fallin’ when I’m try to fly
It’s sad but sometimes
Moving on with the rest of your life
Starts with goodbye.”- Carrie Underwood- Starts with Goodbye

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On the other hand, I am very excited to see what the future holds…yes it can be quite intimidating and daunting; because I am starting over. Completely over. Most of my possessions are in my storage unit, untouched or unused bridal shower gifts still remain in their boxes and I have no grand plan for my life right now.

I do however plan on catching up on life. I am so ready to meet new people, possibly date someone, be the best mom I can for Sophia and just enjoy my life with her. After all she is my main priority.

As for my blog, I do have a new idea up my sleeve that I just contacted a good friend of mine over tonight. Lets just say it is going to put a different twist on things a bit and it sort of make me nervous (but nervous excited). I believe it will be a good and healthy change. I have decided that the change will not happen until after the holidays; but we are collaborating   and starting the process of making our thoughts into actions.

Lets just say, we want to empower you, inspire you and to make you into the best version of yourself that you can be; but I will touch base on that more later.

But I promise my regular posts are not going anywhere.

My blog is just expanding.

With all of this in mind I hope you have a fantastic Friday!